Many people thought that I was grieving for a lost love in the last post. Yes I'm grieving. But that story never happened. But this is not what I want to say. I wish you were reading this.

Affection of blood relatives. Absurd. I never possessed such absurd emotions in the first place. I changes myself just so that you could feel happy. I changes myself just so that you could continue your endless complaining of how this world is unfair to you. But have you ever think about how its unfair for me? Or us? You might have, but I don't feel that you thought about it seriously.
Can you understand how hard it is to face one's fear and problem all by themselves? With no help and no one to turn to. You can turn to me when you feel stress and you can dump it all on me when you don't feel good. Because I forced this so called affection of blood relatives onto myself just so that you could complain and feel good. I'm trading my sanity for yours. I lost my childhood just because of your outrageous anger. I thought you cared. Because all my life I didn't felt you did. But I was wrong. Because everything beats down to a payment? A payment for my youth.
While kids were complaining about having to finish their vegetable or what toys their friends have, I was forced to face the world and grow. I stand in your shoe and thought for you. But did you stand in mine and thought for me? I had enough of everything. Your screaming and your groundless reasons and concept is not what I could tolerate nor contain. I don't feel the needs to stand by you anymore.

Because I never possessed such absurd emotions in the first place.