I'm utterly down on my luck this month. Sometimes you just can't remember how things starts. Like how my downfall this month starts. And when I started to distance myself from my family. And also how I started feeling familiar with this current situation like I felt before.

But thanks god I came across a few songs which draw me towards it. And also a person who add colors to my life. Again. Life isn't so boring after all now. But unlike in the past, I just wanna enjoy and appreciate all of it now. Yes, appreciate will be nice. Appreciation. I should have learn it ages ago. Sometimes I dream of it and waking up thinking it really happened for that few seconds before I realised it was all but a dream. Unlike in the past I get frustated from the moment I realised it was all a dream, I felt lighter and brighter ever since. Maybe thats what they call growth. I don't know. Whatever it is, I love to keep it this way. As long as I can. This positive feeling and this comfortable feeling. Knowing someone is there. Its a... What do we call it? Its a... A strong feeling. Yes. A strong feeling. Not just consoling words but down to earth words which pulls you back. Not many are good at that.

I've never really cared about anything. In fact, I've been selfish all the while. But I've learnt to just share. Right now I felt like I'm standing on top of the world. That breezy feeling. I still can't find any poetic words to describe it. Let me think.
Nope. I don't feel the words in my bone today. Maybe next time.

I've died in your arms that night.
It must be something you said.
It must have been that kiss.
I refuses to die.
Until I let go.
Now.
I'm leaving peacefully.